At Last

Another good song that I decided to use as a title even though the song itself isn't relevant to my post. Anyway, this is just going to be a very quick one tonight because I am tired and I feel like a big nasty oil ball after traveling all day. You know what I mean? No? Just me, huh? Oh well. I successfully made it to the great land of Honduras right on time and with all my luggage. I was a little nervous because I didn't see anyone when I got off the plane and was collecting my bags. I didn't want to have to walk out carrying these two packer boxes into the entrance that's full of people. Those that have been here know which one I mean. But, thankfully, Jen poked her little head around the corner when I was almost in that room, and everything was good. After that, there were some things to do like take the inspector guy out to lunch (yeah, that was rough going to a nice place to eat) and then some other errands that Jen and Karen needed to run. The first group (since I've arrived) will be here on Friday. So that will begin the summer of fun.... or slave labor (you know how Jen can be... haha). I'll certainly try to keep this as updated as I can throughout my time here. I know many people are just so jealous, so I felt the need to keep up constant reminders to them of why they are jealous. Alright, well, I'll go ahead and end this for the evening. I think that we're about to eat anyway. Now let's pray it stays down. haha. Kidding. Jen and I might be headed over to El Salvador to meet up with my aunt and uncle for a couple days since they'll be in the area... and by "the area," I mean Central America. But, I'll write about all that fun stuff when and if it happens. And, maybe I'll write a deep and meaningful post sometime as well.... but it won't be tonight. ;) Thanks to everyone who prayed and helped make this trip possible. It means a lot to me.

Like Sand Through an Hour-glass

Yeah, I'm not really sure why I used that as the title of this entry. I guess I just feel like there's a whole lot going on within this last week or so of my time left in the States. This past weekend, my roommate Jared and I drove down and back from good old Searcy, Arkansas for our good friend's wedding. I have to admit, that was a whole lot of driving in that many days. I won't say how long it took us to get there because my mother wouldn't be very happy to hear it. ;) Overall, it was a very good weekend. I got to see some friends that I went to Harding with that I hadn't seen in quite a long time, and we got to make some more hilarious memories together. The wedding itself was a very nice and eloquent outside service with very beautiful landscaping I must say. The part that probably jerked the most tears from the crowd was when the bride's father sang a song to his daughter in the middle of the wedding... precious. Anyway, there's much more to that whole story that I won't go into because that's not what this blog is for. If you don't know what I'm talking about, then don't worry your pretty little head about it. haha. However, there was a bad side about last week in that two of my friends from home lost their grandmother on Friday night, and then also on Friday night, Jeremy's (the groom in the wedding we went to) grandmother had a heart attack and had to go to the hospital. But, it turned out to be a blessing that Jeremy's grandmother had the heart attack in the US (she lives in Canada) because apparently they wouldn't have caught her heart condition up north and she could have very well died. So, you could say that it was just all in all a very highly emotional weekend for several people that I know. On a lighter note, I'm sure that Jared would just love to tell you about the trip home and how I missed a turn and then accidentally put one of the tires in a ditch while trying to turn around. In my defense, I was still a little out of it from waking up, and it was 2 in the morning. It makes me feel better to say that. haha.

So, now I'm in the middle of my last work week here in Columbus, OH. For good? Who knows but God right now? With that comes a lot of desire to just not care about what I do this week there. I mean, I already dislike the job tremendously, but add to it that I know that I'm going to be done with it in 3 more days... well, it's hard to be motivated to say the least. I'm also getting all my stuff straight for leaving a week from today. I've still got to deposit some money (thank God for all the people that helped me get it) and get my finances lined up to be a smooth machine while I'm gone. I also have the major component of the trip, pack, this weekend. And apparently, I'm going to be taking several extra things with me on the way down. haha. Just feels like there's a lot of stuff for me to do before I go. Plus, this weekend, I've got to fit all my time with my family and friends in before I head off. I know what you're asking yourself; "What friends?" Well, don't you worry... there are some people that like me.... or maybe just my amazing cooking ability. haha.

So, with all those fun things going on with me, I feel like I hardly have had time to really focus on my reason for going down to Honduras, and what it is that I'm hoping to accomplish by being there. It's really hard not to get distracted by all the little, technical details and truly focus on the bigger picture. I can't wait to go down to that place and do whatever it is that is needed. Whether it's building houses, playing with kids, building a wall, bagging up food to hand out, staying up late to collect water that is cascading from the ceiling, or maybe fending off mud from overtaking the children's' home. Whatever it is, I cannot wait to be a part of doing it. I can't wait to look into the eyes of those children that oh so many people have fallen in love with, and see the smiles on their faces when they receive something as small as a piece of gum. I can't wait to pray with another family who has been built a new house and can finally sleep on a wooden floor instead of the ground. I can't wait to meet and work with hundreds of people from the US that come down to help this area. I can't wait to see God's hands and feet working to spread the love that Jesus demonstrated. I only hope that I will be able to keep my focus right where it needs to be for the whole time that I'm down there, and not get distracted by anything that may arise. May I always seek the will of God in every situation.

Well On My Way

No, not the song... though I do enjoy it thoroughly. I'm very happy to say that I'm over half way there on the finances as of yesterday. :) That has basically been the only thing left to worry about in relation to this little excursion of mine, but I am very much certain that God will bring those remaining funds to the surface soon enough. It's crazy that so much of that money has come from people who have no clue who I am. Kristen has really done a great job of helping me out with all the finances, and I'm VERY VERY VERY grateful to her for her time and effort. It almost makes me regret being so hard on her when she was down with our group... but not quite. haha.

I also have been starting to do the oh so fun task of telling everyone that I know up here that I'm going to be leaving at the end of this month. I finally talked to Jared (my roommate) about it last night, and have also told a few other people from work (just not my boss yet) about it as well. Overall, I think that people are/will be ok with it. Jared didn't seem to heartbroken by the fact that I won't be there.... though I think the main reason he'd be sad is because I'm the one who makes dinner. haha. But, I'm finding people to be pretty supportive (and maybe jealous?) of the opportunity that I've decided to take advantage of. I'm anxious to see how Justin (the friend who got me this job, and the possibility to move to the other one) will react to my decision.

As I've been thinking about the reality of me going down to Honduras for those two months, I'm pretty certain that I am in need of some real prayers before I go, and will need then while I'm there. I just want to be sure that my heart is right where it needs to be to embark on something like this. I want to be everything that God wants me to be down there, and to be used in the way which will honor Him most. The problem is that I'm not really certain of what that is. I could just really use some prayers for me to see where God is wanting to use me down there and for me to be TOTALLY willing to be used in whatever way He deems best. I just don't want to waste anything when I go down there... not other people's money that help send me, or other people's time and energy down there. I just want to be what God wants me to be.... and I would sure love to know exactly what that is.

As always, though, keep the ones already living down in that unforgetable country in your continual prayers. Keep praying that those papers get totally completed so that they can start changing some childrens' lives... at their own children's home. Also keep in mind their spirits as they are always away from home and those they love.

Why Not?

Something that I find very humorous about blogging is that every time I get on here, I intend to only write a few sentences and be done... but it never seems to turn out that way. haha. Anyway, after my "fun" week of stressing and praying, and yes I realize that I should have nothing to stress about if I believe that God will take care of me, I decided that it just makes too much sense for me to go to Honduras. Now, you ask yourself "How on earth does it make too much sense to quit your job, turn down an offer for a new position with sweet possibilities, and go to Honduras for the summer and come back to no job?" Yeah, I read your mind. The fact of the matter is that after many conversations with several people about this, and after many many... many prayers, I believe that I am suppose to go there. It would seem like there is a need for my presence there. Not because of any great task or weight that I could handle, but rather just that God has made me in such a way that my "talents" (if you want to call them that) seem to specifically be needed there. I mean, who else has a voice like this that will scream VBS songs even to people that make it pretty obvious that they aren't in the mood for singing? I'm just kidding, but it does seem, in all seriousness, that God is wanting to use me down there in some way. Even if it's just to help build a wall around Casa and remind Jen and Karen why they love me so much. :)

One of the things that stood out in my mind when I was considering everything was something that my mom said. "Ask yourself this; if I take this job, what feelings/thoughts will I have when I pillow my head at night, and what will be my first thoughts when I waken in the morning...gladness of heart and purpose with life or drudgery and resentment?" When I really do ask myself this question, or the question "Which will I regret more if I don't do?", the answer is just way too easy. I would certainly enjoy the new position compared to the one I'm in now by far. However, some of those same problems that I have with this current position would just be transferred over to the other one. Now, I might like the general nature of the other position more than this one (actually helping people vs. selling them), but that would be the only benefit of changing positions other than the possibility of promotion. And for those of you who know me very well, you know that I honestly don't care if I make $40,000 or $4,000,000 a year... for me, I want to actually be able to enjoy where I work and where I live. Right now, I don't have either (not that I hate living with Jared) and changing positions would only make it a little more tolerable of a time. And is that what I really want; to be able to tolerate my everyday life? That, my friends, comes back as a resounding "NO!"

So then you ask "Well, then what do you think is going to happen when you come back from Honduras and don't have a job?" That's a fair question, and I can't say that I have a for sure answer to that. I do know this though, that I will find a job. It may be temporary for me and not exactly what I want for the long term, but I will get a job... or two if the need be for a time. No, I will NOT go to fast food as I know SOMEONE has to have thought.... though I do make a fast Whopper. haha. I have every confidence that God will have an opportunity somewhere for me when I get back. I just need to be willing to really look for it and take it. I won't bore you with a detailed plan of what I'm going to do for employment upon my return, but just keep in mind that I WILL be doing something.

This hasn't been an easy decision, though, by any stretch of the imagination. And I actually just decided on it not too many hours ago, and haven't even told my parents yet.... or my roommate. Actually, Jared didn't even know that I was considering it at all. In any event, the decision's been made and now the task begins (or continues) to get the amount of money that I need ($3000) to go down there for that time and still pay for everything that I have to up here. I know, I can't believe that I owe that much money either... and that's not even touching my school loans (Yikes!). So I could really use some prayers on behalf of getting those needed funds in... or if someone could just win the lottery, that would be cool too. haha (This is how I hint to people that I made a joke). But I don't want to be a prayer hog, though I certainly believe that God can handle anything that we ask. Prayers also need to be lifted up for those loving souls that are already down in Honduras. It's not easy being alone (compared to us) down there all this time, and they could always use some prayers and words of support from us.

Ah, I feel SO much better now after finally deciding on that. :)

DECISIONS!

This week has been absolutely ridiculous with decisions, and I'm getting pretty darn stressed out by them. I would like to think that I'm a fairly laid back individual for the most part, and I think that most people who know me would agree with that. However, right now I'm not feeling so much on the laid back side of things. As if the decision on what to do and where to go this summer hasn't been a hard enough one, I got a nice bonus wrench thrown in today when I was presented with the high probability that I could have a new position at the company that I currently work for. Could this have come at a worse time? Like the decision to drop everything and go out of the country wasn't hard enough... now I'm presented with this option to get out of the position that I don't like and get into one that I'm good at and qualified for (starting a fitness center our company built). And not only that, but this position has a lot of potential for growth within the company. So now I"m at a point of deciding between going to Honduras and coming back and having to find work, or me staying here and going into that new position. Oh, and I forgot to mention that this position would need to be filled about the end of the month... when I had planned on flying out to go to Honduras.

So needless to say, I've got a lot on my mind now. Half of my mind is pulling me to the place where I feel I can be of most service, and the other half is pulling me toward a more secure and gratifying position to work in. So is this new position God opening a door of opportunity, or is it Satan throwing a distraction on the side of the road? Or is it neither? God is big enough to have set me up with something when I got back from Honduras, but is this Him setting something up for me now so that I have the ability to go down to Honduras later? This is one of those "bang your head on your desk" kind of times in life.

I think that I'm just mostly concerned with making the wrong choice. I know that God can turn either choice that I make to something great. However, I'd still very much welcome a massive, HUGE and very distictive sign pointing me in the right direction. If you've got the sign, please let me know... even if it's a small one.