Why Not?

Something that I find very humorous about blogging is that every time I get on here, I intend to only write a few sentences and be done... but it never seems to turn out that way. haha. Anyway, after my "fun" week of stressing and praying, and yes I realize that I should have nothing to stress about if I believe that God will take care of me, I decided that it just makes too much sense for me to go to Honduras. Now, you ask yourself "How on earth does it make too much sense to quit your job, turn down an offer for a new position with sweet possibilities, and go to Honduras for the summer and come back to no job?" Yeah, I read your mind. The fact of the matter is that after many conversations with several people about this, and after many many... many prayers, I believe that I am suppose to go there. It would seem like there is a need for my presence there. Not because of any great task or weight that I could handle, but rather just that God has made me in such a way that my "talents" (if you want to call them that) seem to specifically be needed there. I mean, who else has a voice like this that will scream VBS songs even to people that make it pretty obvious that they aren't in the mood for singing? I'm just kidding, but it does seem, in all seriousness, that God is wanting to use me down there in some way. Even if it's just to help build a wall around Casa and remind Jen and Karen why they love me so much. :)

One of the things that stood out in my mind when I was considering everything was something that my mom said. "Ask yourself this; if I take this job, what feelings/thoughts will I have when I pillow my head at night, and what will be my first thoughts when I waken in the morning...gladness of heart and purpose with life or drudgery and resentment?" When I really do ask myself this question, or the question "Which will I regret more if I don't do?", the answer is just way too easy. I would certainly enjoy the new position compared to the one I'm in now by far. However, some of those same problems that I have with this current position would just be transferred over to the other one. Now, I might like the general nature of the other position more than this one (actually helping people vs. selling them), but that would be the only benefit of changing positions other than the possibility of promotion. And for those of you who know me very well, you know that I honestly don't care if I make $40,000 or $4,000,000 a year... for me, I want to actually be able to enjoy where I work and where I live. Right now, I don't have either (not that I hate living with Jared) and changing positions would only make it a little more tolerable of a time. And is that what I really want; to be able to tolerate my everyday life? That, my friends, comes back as a resounding "NO!"

So then you ask "Well, then what do you think is going to happen when you come back from Honduras and don't have a job?" That's a fair question, and I can't say that I have a for sure answer to that. I do know this though, that I will find a job. It may be temporary for me and not exactly what I want for the long term, but I will get a job... or two if the need be for a time. No, I will NOT go to fast food as I know SOMEONE has to have thought.... though I do make a fast Whopper. haha. I have every confidence that God will have an opportunity somewhere for me when I get back. I just need to be willing to really look for it and take it. I won't bore you with a detailed plan of what I'm going to do for employment upon my return, but just keep in mind that I WILL be doing something.

This hasn't been an easy decision, though, by any stretch of the imagination. And I actually just decided on it not too many hours ago, and haven't even told my parents yet.... or my roommate. Actually, Jared didn't even know that I was considering it at all. In any event, the decision's been made and now the task begins (or continues) to get the amount of money that I need ($3000) to go down there for that time and still pay for everything that I have to up here. I know, I can't believe that I owe that much money either... and that's not even touching my school loans (Yikes!). So I could really use some prayers on behalf of getting those needed funds in... or if someone could just win the lottery, that would be cool too. haha (This is how I hint to people that I made a joke). But I don't want to be a prayer hog, though I certainly believe that God can handle anything that we ask. Prayers also need to be lifted up for those loving souls that are already down in Honduras. It's not easy being alone (compared to us) down there all this time, and they could always use some prayers and words of support from us.

Ah, I feel SO much better now after finally deciding on that. :)