On A Mission

Simple Thought...

2009-04-21T22:15:00.000-04:00

I think it's time that "The Church" got out of a building....

An Elderly Dump Day

2009-04-13T22:27:00.002-04:00

Ok, so I meant for the title to be humorous... though I can see how some people may not appreciate it. In any event, I thought since I usually say that the reason why I never blog anymore is because I mostly did it while I was in Honduras, and since I don't live in Honduras... I don't really blog. However, as I am in Honduras now, I thought I probably oughta at least blog ONCE during the couple weeks that I'm here. So here I go.... (I make no promises)...

Today, our two main goals were to visit some elderly people who are being cared for by a very nice guy, named Francisco, near El Centro (who also feeds drug and alcohol abusers every day for lunch). He picks them up off the street and does his best to help them get healthy again.... and we also went to hand out food at the city dump.

I would not say that visiting with the elderly is something that I exactly do all that great. Well, to be honest, visiting with people (young or old) I don't know isn't something that I do well at all. But, I do try to get around people who are a little more gifted at that than I am... and kinda add to whatever they're saying or doing with the person. So today, I was with my mom at first with a woman named Maria. She is 92 and has a whole lot of white hair. She is a big fan of telling stories and randomly singing. All of which, you can barely understand. And I don't just mean because I'm not exactly fluent in Spanish. Gina could hardly understand her at times. But Maria is still good natured and in good spirits. There were a couple other ladies, however, who were NOT nice... not to other people, and DEFINITELY not to each other. Goodness, one woman has a habit of tripping passers by and also rearing back to hit people if they get close. But the thing that was most impactful for me today (including the dump even) was when mom was visiting with a 90 year old man named Luis. He had apparently lived quite the life (according to what he said)... knowing 5 languages, living in NY, working in the CIA, meeting with the mafia to buy guns, and then living in FL for several years before being dejected, living in the streets of Honduras. He was now barely able to walk and had huge sores on his legs; potentially from his diabetes. He was talking to mom and she asked him how he felt about God. He was not so sure that God could love him because of some of the events in which is was present for. This included plane rides in which he translated for a messenger. Apparently if the messenger delivered a message that the man Luis was translating for didn't like, the man would have the man thrown form the plane without a parachute. Luis felt guilt for being witness to events like that in his past, and he seemed to be carrying quite the weight on him because of it. As he sat there and explained that, mom just assured and re-assured him that God loved him very much and was looking forward to welcoming him into heaven. And she also said that she wanted to see him there as well. Luis was a little hesitant at first to accept that God really did love him, because of those things. But as we were suppose to be leaving (and mom, Jen, Gina, Ashley, and I were the last people in the room... all with Luis), mom said that she prayed this morning that God would lead her to someone who was needing to hear God's love... and that God had led her to him. She then told Luis that we had to get going, but that she really enjoyed speaking with him today. And his response was simply "I'll see you in heaven". I tapped out at that point... got up and waited at the door. Talk about bringing hope to someone who felt as though there was little. Moments like that make me proud to be my mother's son.... though I think they make other people question the validity that I am, in fact, her biological son.

The Dump was the second stop of the day. It was a much calmer experience than the last time I was there in June with the GC group. Some handed out sandwiches, apples, and bags of water to everyone that came up to the truck (which is always many). And while that was going on, others of us went to help a girl Jen has been getting to know pick out some plastic bottles out of the "fresh" waste that was being deposited by the dump trucks. It's crazy to see people literally getting in line to rummage through the trash.... fighting with vultures, dogs, and cows (I know, weird) for garbage. There's no real way to accurately describe what goes on there. I mean, I suppose you could say what you saw and maybe kind of tell about how it made you feel. But unless you really see it... get up close with the people there, smell the mounds of trash, and experience just a portion of what encompasses their entire lives, I don't think that any amount of words could do it justice. This is quite ironic since going there seems to being about feelings of injustice. You just ask yourself "HOW could this possibly happen?! How could people get so bad that they are living and looking through thrash, fighting with animals to get things that we discard? How can THAT be someone's life?" Some people ask "Why would a loving God allow this to happen?" And as several people have now come to realize is that it's not God's fault they're there. God didn't turn away from those in need until they were forced to dig through crap (literally) to try to gather things that they could sell and eat. God didn't abandon a child and leave him or her to fend for themselves. Indifference and selfishness did. A focus on what we want and what we "need" created this society, and many others similar to it. So often the people that create the opportuity for this injustice are the very ones that later say "Why did God let this happen?" Really? God must have used His all powerful Word to restrain them from sharing what they've been blessed with. The reality is, it isn't that God allows those things to happen, WE allow those kinds of things to happen. WE are the body of Christ. WE are His hands and feet. WE are called to show and be Jesus to a sick and dying world. WE ought to be earning our undeserved titles as sons and daughters of the Most High God. Jesus said that the world will know that we are from Him by our love. Love isn't just something we say to show affection and make someone feel all warm and cozy on the inside. As DC Talk so eloquently stated... Love is a verb. And as the very over-sung song says (as well as the Bible), God is love. And if we are showing love through our actions, then are we not at the same time showing the character of God through them? So then if we think or say that God shouldn't let things like this happen, then why are we not, in fact, acting as we think God should? Because we think that God should just make everything perfect and happy and nice for everyone? Jesus didn't come and make everything perfect, did he? The literal Son of God did not heal every sick person. He didn't feed every starving child. But He gave us a new way to live. A new way to interact and impact those living in the world around us. Selfless. Hopeful. Loving. Full of Grace and Truth. How can we, living in this new way... REALLY walking in the steps of Jesus, allow such things to happen?

*DISCLAIMER*
I am pretty tired at this point and have been at this for a little while. So if parts, or all, of this blog seem redundant, or you just think I'm crazy, then that may explain some of it. Though let's just be honest, I'm pretty stupid just about all the time.

Holy cra..... church(?) it's been a while...

2009-03-26T00:07:00.003-04:00

So who hasn't blogged in over a year? This guy. I'm not really sure what I could possibly blog about at this particular time. I could've given my synopsis of this year's Winterfest, but after the laugh-fest that Jared and I had during the Sunday talk. If Walling would just talk to the teens, sponsors, and ministers like they were actually adults instead of children, it would really go a lot better. Maybe someday he'll come to his senses and deliver a message that doesn't sound like he's talking to a group of kindergarteners. That's my critique of Winterfest '09.

And then my only other option for discussion is my current frustration/interest in church worship. But since Jake has already decided to talk about it, I guess there's really no need, right? Wrong. Because I really don't have anything else in my head that I have any interest in talking about.

So what has been rattling around in my little head recently has been a bit of frustration with the worship experience being presented at the church I normally attend... could be why I may have not been there the past few weeks. I just feel like when people are worshiping and giving honor to the God who made the entire universe... the God who repeatedly gave breaks to a race who made and broke promises (covenants) with Him over and over, and then freely gave of Himself by offering His Son.... perfect Son.... to be the curse/scapegoat/sacrifice for all the sins that humanity had piled upon itself.... people praising THIS God... should probably look as though they actually cared about all those things. I'm not saying that when people worship God, it should always be happy.... because sometimes it's a much more solemn time for self examination or simply feeling the Spirit move. But every time I look around a room full of people singing about the joy of the Lord being their strength and it looks like the part in Sister Act II when the choir starts singing "Oh Happy Day" with blank faces, I've got to ask myself, is this REALLY what worship is? I mean, when these people were writing these songs about joy, freedom, or one of my favorite old songs "It is Well With My Soul," I would think they were full of a sense of... oh I don't know... happiness, thankfulness, peace, joy... maybe even remorse, humility, or a realization of just how much we've been blessed with regardless of how much we don't deserve it (I'm sure there's a nice, big word for that). And I'm not saying that everyone has to be totally engrossed in every moment of every service or anything like that. Because Lord knows I have plenty of times when my mind drifts. But as of late, it's been difficult to drift IN to the service. And a certain level of it is a personal thing, I'm sure. However, as I glance around the auditorium and see the VAST majority of attendees staring blankly at the screen in the front and saying the words to the songs, I don't exactly get that sense that what we're saying is what we're doing/conveying/believing. I mean, to the objective viewer, are we REALLY looking like a people that are standing in awe of God, inviting Him to reign in us, and proclaiming how Holy the name of Jesus is? Not that it's a show for other people in the slightest, but if you went to a concert where most of the crowd just kinda sat, or sometimes stood (as those are the only two acceptable positions), and maybe mouthed the words to some of the songs, would your impression of that crowd be "Wow, those people really love this band!"? I'm highly doubting it. You'd probably be asking yourself "Why are these people even here?" right? Or maybe you'd wonder if those people even cared about the band at all. So does it seem like church should be a place where the people respond so much more expressively? Singing the songs that help them identify with the One the song is written about, and also the one who wrote it. Showing appreciation to the One who has given and shown (and continues to give and show) us more exciting things than any act that could ever perform on a stage. Shouldn't our actions be an outflowing of the things that we have in our hearts and souls? I mean, when I read how people worshiped during the time in which the Bible was written, I don't exactly see a lot of ho-hum people. I read about people falling down (prostrate) on the ground before the Lord, and others dancing with all their might (even undressing in David's case) in His presence. And then when I come into a place where I sometimes feel as though a comedy could be made about what it would look like for zombies to go to church, I'm just left thinking if THIS is what we're really at church to do. And more and more, I'm not so much convinced.

I have more to say on this matter, but it's 2:15 AM and I'm pretty darn tired. If there are any grammatical errors, or really anything that you read and are like "why on earth did he say that?", then you now know why. My brain may have pooped out. But I do want to point out that the purpose of my rant is not solely to make a massive complaint. There's a lot of things I have to say, but the hamster can only run on the wheel for so long before it needs a break. But I just want to say that I believe that worship can be done well, great environments created, sincere hearts calling out to God, and true connections made between worshipers and the Father. I just think that maybe we should consider going about it in another way than they did back in 1950.

Winterfest '08

2008-02-19T09:19:00.003-05:00

Had the opportunity to help chaperone the teens from the Belpre Church of Christ this past weekend to an event known as Winterfest. If you have never had the pleasure of attending this event, I would highly recommend that you go. I mean, besides the fact that it is held in Gatlinburg, one of the most beautiful places on earth, it is also a great place to meet old friends, make new ones, and learn a thing or two. Though I could probably sit here and critique the worship time with Jerome Williams for about 3 hours.... I mean really, could we sing songs that we haven't been singing for the last 12 years?..... there are some really good things that happen there. It's still definitely got that "Church of Christ" undertone to it. You know, with the "come forward while we stand and sing" and "we don't want to guilt you into trying to share Jesus, but take this special red Bible with you to school so people will see it" kinda stuff. Not that I'm against sharing Jesus, but I just don't feel like it HAS to be done that way. I feel like it has so much more to do with your lifestyle. If you live like Jesus, then people will notice that and want to know what's different about you. Unless, of course, you think that to be Jesus means to be telling everyone why they're bad (or choosing who is "good enough" for God's grace) or how great you are. Because that's not so much being Jesus. So, other than those things which you kinda have to put up with right now with the church being where it is on its path, the whole event is very good. Jeff Walling speaks every year, and sometime you feel like saying "EVERY year," but he has some good points. Sure, he is cheesy... and I think that gets increased about 100x when he is in front of a bunch of teens. So that can be distracting, but his points are usually very good. I perhaps thought that it was better than others simply because I felt like the message of the weekend was something that I probably needed to hear myself. Broken into four different sections of 1. Know Jesus, 2. Be Jesus, 3. See Jesus, and 4. Share Jesus. The latter of course being that thing I was talking about before with them telling you how you specifically how you need to share Jesus with others. And I guess I just don't feel like there's only one approach.

The first session with "Know Jesus" was especially good for me because as of late, I have become more and more aware that I don't really KNOW Him. You know what I mean? I've read the Bible just a couple times in my life (haha), but I seem to just be stuck at this point where I know and do believe what it says. Belief is not a problem for me. In fact, when we came back from Winterfest, I got to watch "Everything is Spiritual" with Rob Bell. I really liked that video because his lesson was greatly theology, science, and history based.... three things I absolutely love to learn about. If you haven't seen that, you stop what you're doing right now and go buy it and watch it. I said stop and watch! Basically, I bring that up to say that the things in that video only help to further show that there is no way that things in this universe just happened in a poof. I don't care how many years you wait after... all this isn't going to happen on its own. Anyway, all that to say that belief in and of itself has never really been an issue for me. Belief in Jesus... never a problem. Really connecting to who He is and what He did... more of a problem. Do I believe He did the things He did? Completely. No doubt in my mind. But I have always read it more as a history book than anything else... maybe because I love history so much. Not really sure. What I do know is that I don't see in me what I see in so many other people. Not that our walk is about mimicking or comparing ourselves to others, but I don't think that there's anything wrong with recognizing something in others that you are striving for. But it seems like so many people have a deep, heart-felt relationship with God. I mean they really seem to have a sense of God and a longing to know Him.... REALLY know Him. And it's not that I don't have that same desire... but it just seems like 1. I don't know how to go about achieving that, and 2. Sometimes, a lot of times, I feel like I lack the capacity. It's been a struggle of mine for quite a while. Just the difference between knowing and understanding (really getting it). For instance, I always knew my parents loved me. Never been a doubt. But there are times where something happens which make me really understand how much they love me, and I can really take it in. And I'm sure people would say "Well Jesus coming and dying for you is a pretty good example of how much God loves you." Yes it is, and I know that. I would have to be stupid to not know that. But again, maybe it's because I've heard it so much or maybe because people seem to want to shove it down your throat a lot... I don't really know. But the point is, I have felt like there's something missing for a while and I don't really have a clue as to how to find it. People usually say "read the Bible and pray." And it's not that I don't agree that we should because I know that I personally feel much different when I have been in the habit of praying and reading. However, I have to go say that I tend to read all books the same way.... for information. And like I said before, the Bible being so rich in history, I read it like a history book. Guess I just have a hard time really internalizing the words and understanding how they directly affect me. Like in the video from Rob Bell, he talks about how we are the only things created that are not only physical being, but are also spiritual beings. And perhaps the reason why we only perceive things in the physical plane is because it's all we're open to. And I think that maybe some people have either opened themselves up to that perception, or are helped to become open to it. Either way, I think that some people have an awareness of God and His Spirit in a way that I have no idea about. So anyway, I guess the whole point of this is just to say that I was reminded this weekend even more that I want to know... really know... God. The question that I still wrestle with is exactly how to do that. I'll let you know if I ever figure it out at all. Sure, this is probably more of a journal as people probably don't read this anymore since I haven't really written anything in a long, long time. But hey, it's good for me to get it written out.

Patience Is A Virtue

2007-04-27T14:39:00.000-04:00

Ok, so I know that I implied that I would write more, and I will. I have just been working on this small tax return mishap for the better part of today and last night, and my mind just doesn't want to perform any complicated functions at the moment. Thus... give me a day or two... which we all know means like a month. Just kidding, I need to write while stuff is fresh in this little mind.

Not Long Enough

2007-04-19T14:33:00.000-04:00

So I felt like I should write something since I just went down to Honduras and everything, but I don't think that I have much more to write about than what Jen already has. However, I could give a brief sum up I suppose. First of all, I have to say that I have found it ironic that a spiritual trip like the one we were on usually helps to make you appreciate what you have and find contentment could make me feel so discontent about coming back to work and being here. Interesting. So I'll break this up into sections so it's not so overwhelmingly enormous. And so I don't have to type for 4 hours straight.

So we get there the first day and we are greeted by some faces that I have been missing for a while now. Jen and Karen had brought the boys, (minus Antonio but plus Fernando, whom I hadn't met) Saul, Eduardo, and Carlos to the airport to greet us. That was a very welcome feeling to hear "Papi!" screamed across the terminal and see Francisco running up to me along with Marvin, Mario, and Fernando. I then soon realized just how darn hot it was there once I was holding Francisco in one arm, my carry-on on one shoulder, and a laptop on my other shoulder. But hey... totally worth the instant sweat. So then we got to take them back to the mission house with us for the night. The first night is always our "pack the food bags" night, and it went just about as smoothly as it normally does. Of course there were way more bags of rice and beans than of anything else, but we made it work. So after a fun night of travel and food bags, it was time for bed. Thankfully, Karen had taken care of getting Francisco ready for bed by showering him up and brushing his teeth... something he doesn't so much enjoy for some reason. So anyway, that all gets done and we are down for the night. Since Francisco is only 3, it's a good idea to wake him up and let him use the bathroom sometime during the night. Well, this guy gets up at 4 and wakes him up and asks him if he needs to use the bathroom. He said no... so I went back to sleep. Hey, I was tired. Well sure enough, about an hour later, I woke up and the back of my shirt is drenched. At first I think to myself "Maybe I just sweat a lot for some reason." I was not so lucky for that to be the truth. Nono, I put my hand on the mattress, and sure enough... it's soaked. AWESOME! So basically I take that shirt off and sleep around the perimeter of what I will call "the wet zone" for the remainder of the night.... also known as an hour and a half til I needed to get up.

So day 2 found us building our first two houses of the trip. Yeah, we like to start off with a bang. Anyway, my team had the site where we got to tear down the old house before building the new one. I'm not going to lie, from what I've torn down before, this one was.... spacious? However, the fact that there were many, MANY softball sized holes and larger throughout a lot of the structure was not such a plus. And do you remember the Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom movie? Ok, the part where they are going through that secret passageway and there are ALL those bugs that climb all over the woman and freak her out. Yeah, that was about what was living around and inside the area of this house. I didn't even know roaches got that big. So, as we began to tear the old house apart and at the same time play exterminator, I thought it would be a good idea to apply sunscreen to my arms and shoulders since they ALWAYS seem to burn when I'm in Honduras. I'm so smart, right? Wrong. If you said yes, and I imagine abuot 99% didn't, then you didn't think of my neck or face. Oh yes.... the hat I was wearing may have covered the top of my head and forehead, but not the back of my neck and my face beneath my nose. So since I'm always on the roof, I had some really good face time with the tin and the sun.... and it was very apparent when we got back to the mission house and I saw myself in the mirror. Basically, the area from the neckline of my shirt to the area that my hat covered was RED. Carlos even thought it would be fun to call me "Tomate" because of it. The best part being the fact that I had a permanent halo around my head. I mean, I'd like to think that I should have one around my head all the time, but it would seem that the only one that I could manage was this one.

Is A Month THAT Long?

2007-01-30T15:15:00.000-05:00

So it's not so much that I forgot about writing on here as much as it is that I haven't exactly made time to do so. But, when I thought about it, I have about 7 hours a day to kill at work. So I figured why do I just do it at work? Let's just hope I don't get fired, eh? haha.

You may be wondering what has been going on since I got back from Honduras since I basically haven't written a word since then. Well, it could be summed up as not much, but let us delve deeper into what I like to call... "The Life and Times of Jeff." After a not-so-graceful exit from the land of Honduras (thankfully there was no video recording), I came back to the metropolis of Parkersburg in search of some kind of income. And after weeks of searching and searching for a lucrative source of income, I wound up in customer service at Coldwater Creek. In case you aren't aware, they are a women's clothing manufacturer. Oh yes, that's right.... I was on the phone all day with women helping them order clothes. And more than that, I even (on special occasions) had the joy of helping them choose outfits! You can go ahead and imagine that in your mind.... and chuckle. But, thankfully, I met a young lady during training whose mother is the manager of a local bank chain, and they happened to be looking for a CSR (Customer Service Rep... but it's basically a glorified name for a teller). In any event, this fortuitous friendship ended up with me getting out of helping older women match outfits and into a bank for work. Now, I would be lying if I said that this was my dream job or even a good paying one (especially in comparison to my last job). However, I do have a good time at work, enjoy the people I work with, and am gaining experience toward better work. Now you may be asking yourself "Well Jeff, didn't you go to college?" Yeah, I realize that being in debt $70,000 to gain a degree that you aren't even using seems a bit... well... stupid. What can I say? Hindsight is really 20/20, huh? Oh well, the best I can do now is just try to make the most with what I've got to work with.

Now when I moved back to the thriving hub of social society that Parkersburg is, I had to... I mean had the pleasure of... moving back into my parents' house. Is it just me, or does anyone else feel like a loser if they've graduated from college and still living with mom and dad? No one else had to do that, huh? You all got jobs right out of school did ya? Well.... GOOD FOR YOU! haha. Anyway, it was kind of necessary anyway since I was so dirt poor. But, at the beginning of this fine new year, I moved in with my church's youth minister who has also been a friend of mine for quite a while, and is interestingly enough my old roommate's cousin. Everyone follow that? Good. It's amazing how the cleanliness gene must run in families or something.... though it would seem to have skipped around in mine a little. In any event, we do what we can to have a good time... you know, American Idol get togethers at the apartment on Tuesday and Wednesday nights... and also an easy place for our "posse" to stop at since we're so close to the mall and all. And for those of you who don't know, the mall is basically the only one within a 50 mile radius. So for a lot of people, it is seriously the "hot spot" to go. How sad. Anyway, I have found what could be the coolest thing on earth... Movie On Demand. It's a FANTASTIC idea. You get to choose from a list of movies and watch them anytime you want... like you have the DVD. Crazy. Phantom of the Opera was definitely watched the other day... I mean, uhhh.... some manly movie with guns and death... yeah. But needless to say, we have good times there, and other people do as well.

That about wraps up my life as a whole up to this point since I got back. Other than that, I just sent out some good old support letters for BOTH trips I get to take to Honduras this year. One in April, as always with the Belpre team, and this year I'm helping another local church (Grand Central Church of Christ) out on their trip by teaching them how to build houses. And I know, the family's really going to be sorry when I'm in charge of building their house, right. Nice... real classy anyone who thought that. haha. Alright, this is long enough for a comeback tour. Maybe next time I'll discuss the fun times of navigating up the hill to the apartment in the snow. FYI... Civics apparently don't handle extremely well in the snow. Who knew?

Good Heavens!

2006-12-19T08:48:00.000-05:00

Alright, I really don't have time to write anything right now because I'm in the middle of vaccuming the entire upstairs of my parents' house (that's right), but I'll try to muster up SOMETHING for you people to read before too much longer. I don't have a lot of crazy things going on right now like I did over the summer, but maybe I'll do something really stupid soon... not too far-fetched, I know.... that will be worthy of writing about on here. So I'd label this more of a teaser. Like one of those trailers for movies that you don't really see any of the upcoming movie out of and it's just some music and the title of the movie. No? Don't really get that? Well.... ummmmm..... just be patient then.

You're Suppose To Watch Movies?

2006-07-18T12:01:00.000-04:00

Ok, so I realize that I haven't exactly been the most consistent blogger as of late, but if you were living in this home, you wouldn't be either. I know what you're thinking.. "Well, Karen sure seems to be able to post them." And it's not that you're incorrect... it's just that I do so much more work than Jen and Karen do. haha. I'm just kidding. I just actually want to sleep. They choose not to. I think I've made the right decision personally. Anyway, since I've got a few minutes, I figure that I'd write a little something on this.. just to throw everyone off. I'm not going to lie though, most days are about the same as the rest since the kids have been here and they're on a schedule and all. However, we did get to do something out of the ordinary on Sunday. Terry Reeve's group did something really cool; they had about 20 adults go out to Didasko, pick up almost all the kids (some were in trouble and couldn't go), and bring them to church in the Valley of Angels. We also took our kids out to church there along with Carlos, Eduardo, and Saul (Deisy's kids). So, there were quite a many children at worship Sunday morning. But then we got to do the coolest thing in the lives of many of the kids... we took them to the mall to eat and then to see the movie "Cars" that was dubbed in Spanish. I would say that the VAST majority, if not all the kids, had never been to the mall before let alone the movies. So, they were some pretty happy campers.... mostly. You see, my little friend Francisco wasn't exactly a big fan of the movie. In fact, he started squirming about 2 minutes after the previews were FINALLY over. And then when I didn't let him run around the auditorium like a maniac, he started throwing one of his little fits. Well, since I couldn't have him disturbing everyone else, I took him outside of the auditorium thinking that he would be fine in a few minutes. Oh no my friends... no no. For about the first half or so of the movie, I had followed him at least 15 times in and out of the auditorium (he never wanted to stay in for longer than 30 seconds), carried him up and down the hallway several times, watched him run back and forth from one auditorium entrance to another across the hall, and had him just about cry on me (he was tired and hadn't really had his nap for the day). What a movie. Anyway, about halfway through the movie, Jen comes out with Marvin (who was getting restless) to go get some popcorn and stuff. So, of course Francisco wanted to go up to the counter with all the lights and food (he's 2). So we get up there, get the stuff, and Jen carries him back into the auditorium while I walked with Marvin (who's 7). And that's when I found out that there is apparently one universal truth... 2 year olds love popcorn. If you know my nephew, Ryley, he will seriously just sit and shovel popcorn in his mouth one hand after another when he's at the movies. And wouldn't you know it, Francisco was perfectly content watching the movie now that he had popcorn and pop to drink. Such a "stinker" (is this ok?) sometimes. So after that, and some going back and forth from Jen to me a few times, he finally fell asleep on me (which I don't know how that is comfortable) for the rest of the movie... which was about 15-20 minutes. And then we headed out. Now, outside of my little adventure (and it was just because it was new and he is so young), all the kids that came were totally glued to the screen. Yovani and Eduardo were literally on the edge of their seats watching the movie. Just so excited. So, that was really good that all these kids could be apart of this and that Terry's group would be willing to do it. I'm sure they won't be forgetting it for quite a while. And, considering that we only lost 3 of the Didasko kids, I'd say we ended the day on a pretty good note. haha. I'm just kidding, they didn't lose any of the kids. Just thought I'd throw that in there for shock factor... if anyone actually believed it.

Other than that little trip, we took one more. Jen and I took the 4 "older" boys (basically, we left the baby with Karen) to the airport to greet Donna when her flight came in with Sam and JT. Jen even got them prepared to say "Hola Tia Donna" when she came around that wall in the airport. Precious. The boys definitely enjoyed that trip too. And then just yesterday, Jen went and picked up Kelsey from the airport. So now we've got a four-person Belpre crew here. Well, that is until a week from today when Karen leaves... and then I leave the next week. Oh well, for now, the kids have plenty of people to be with them. So, we're gonna make the most of it. I'm sorry I don't ever post pictures on here, but I don't have a camera. Therefore, you're gonna have to go to Karen or Jen's blogs to see some.

Fatherhood In Question

2006-07-05T10:25:00.000-04:00

So I don't really have a lot of time to post right now, and let me tell you why. There are kids here now. They're cute and sweet... well, unless you have to punish them for doing something they're not suppose to be doing. Luckily, I let the "mothers" take care of that... you know, because the boys need to be shown their authority. At least, that's what I say so I don't have to do it. Anyway, I'm sure that Jen and Karen will be keeping a much more extensive blog about the boys. So there's not really a need for me to do the same. Plus, so far, all the days have been pretty similar and basically uneventful. However, it has seriously hurt my "adventure" possibilities having them here. Yes, yes "it's an adventure having them." That's true.... if by adventure you mean being tired all the time but still having them full of energy wanting you to pick them up and throw them around. I mean, there's four of us here for crying out loud, and we're ALL exhausted by the end of the day. It's crazy. Now, I don't want to make it sound like it's horrible or anything, because Lord knows it's not. There are plenty of fun times, and they have very contagious laughs. But I must say that I take comfort in the fact that I know that I'm going am going back to the States on August 2nd. And I only say that because I know that I'll be able to sleep for 8 hours again. Though I must admit, I'm totally sitting over here typing this while the girls are taking care of the boys.

Alright, so the only things I've done since the boys got here were 1. Take Mike to the airport to go back to the States, and 2. Went out to Didasko to drop off some presents. The airport journey was pretty uneventful. Ok, so Jen and Karen just maybe had an issue with the bit of a scratch and dent that Gracie got while on that trip, but I really don't think it was a big deal. I mean, that parked truck's bumper really just came right out and hit her. Alright, so maybe I should have taken the turn a little wider, but it was a VERY tight fit.... and Gracie is fine. I'm sure if you wash her, you'll never even see it.... yeah, that's a lie. But it could have been worse. Oh, and it was just Nicole Tindall and I who took him back. And we kinda got a little lost trying to get back. BUT, we totally figured it out.... and it worked out well since we needed to go to the store anyway. You see, we were looking for like a big bowl to bath the baby in, but it wasn't at the first store we went to. But, since we took the road we did, there was another store on the road that DID having a bowl/tub thing that we could use. See, it all worked out well. Nothing to worry about.

At Didasko, we took the two older boys with us (Jen, Nicole, and I) and left the 3 younger ones with Karen and Fabiola. They seemed to enjoy the trip there and everything... even the black holes that litter the road along the way to the home. Have you driven out there in anything other than a bus?! It's RIDICULOUS! You seriously need a 4-wheel drive vehicle with PLENTY of clearance to traverse that tremendously terrorizing terrain (like that alliteration?). So, when we got out there, the boys seemed pretty nervous... which is odd since they were very talkative and energetic on the drive over. We're guessing that they may have initially thought that we were going to leave them there or something. Maybe not, but they were pretty shy. Jen and I got to give some presents to Norma (my parents' adopted girl there), and the three of us took a picture together. Apparently it was precious, but I have my doubts when I'm in the picture. Anyway, she was very happy with the gifts she got, and the others that I had from people at home, I left with Jorge and Rosa to give to the kids (since I didn't know who they were and I didn't want to just hand out presents to like three kids) later. Oh, we took Norma off to a room by ourselves to give her gifts to her just FYI. But, the boys weren't really big fans of staying there, even though there was going to be a pinata. So, we headed out and came back here. That's about the extent of the things I've been a part of since the boys got here.

Oh, but one thing about the baby. It cries... all the time. And you know one thing that makes him cry? ME! That's right, if he ever makes eye contact with me, he starts crying. If I get within a certain distance of him, he starts crying. Which proves my previous theory... babies hate me. haha. The 2-year old is fine, but apparently below that, they have "Hate Jeff" woven into their DNA.

Rock-a-by Bus In The Rain Drops

2006-06-27T16:36:00.000-04:00

So, Jen and I took a good trip to El Salvador last week to hook up with my aunt and uncle's medical mission team. It was fun and we got to see some stuff that we hadn't been able to before. There were a couple characters in this group, let me tell you. First, we have John. I'd say he's in his 60's, but you'd never know it from the way he acts. If you are familiar with my Dad's father at all, you know that he's a fan of the jokes. Well, John is certainly no different. And he is also quite the talker. I have seriously never heard so many stories in my life... even from a teenage girl. But, the fact that he remembers so many different stories so well is very impressive. He's not senile and just repeating the same story over and over again... which is nice. But, he's also a very wise man who's been working in Honduras for about 20 years. He and Jen had quite a number of talks during our stay in El Salvador, and I think that she benefited greatly from it.

Now, our next friend was someone very... unique. Ted quite the guy. He is a 70 something year old man who is engaged... THAT'S RIGHT! No, this isn't his first marriage, but there's no way that you could tell that when he was on the phone with her in the mornings. Good heavens, you should see how giddy this old guy would get. It was cute and very humorous at the same time. But, he was also not a quite man about it by any means. At one point in the trip, there was a competition established to take place when the team got back to San Antonio. The two married couples in our van were going to have a kissing competition against Ted and his fiance. And since one of the couples was from El Salvador, it was an international competition. So, we deemed it the World Cup of Kissing 2006. There was still a need for more nations to join when we left. Oh, but did I mention that Ted also was basically deaf without his hearing aids? Yeah, and the batteries had died on him by the time that we got there. So, we maaaaybe had a couple of moments of humor at his expense because he couldn't hear anything we tried to tell him unless we yelled at him. But, he was quite the joyful man. Just don't say anything about the wedding, or you might hear something about the honeymoon, no joke. haha.

Now, after we had the pleasure of going on this adventure, we had a memorable experience of the bus trip back to Teguc. Now, let me preface this with the delightful experience that we had on the way in. If you are not aware of what charter buses in Honduras are like, then you have really missed out. I would basically compare it to first class seating on a plane. It's all leather seating with only two rows on seats on each side of the bus. And these seats recline all the way back, not just a few inches, and the padding... OH the padding. It is just flat out comfortable. They even have this little 3 foot piece of padded wood that is attached to the seat in front of you that leans against your seat and allows your legs to rest on it instead of just hanging off the seat. Yeah... it's nice. Oh, and they also bring you food, drinks, and have a movies for you to watch during the trip. So, I think I've described it pretty well. The way down was great with a nice, relaxing ride... which was good because we had to get up at 4AM to go to Teguc to get on the bus anyway. So, it was very convenient. Now, let's discuss the trip back, shall we?

It was a dark and dreary night... ok, well, we actually left at like 2 in the afternoon and it was quite sunny, but the fun didn't really begin until the night. One of the things that we noticed about El Salvador is that it is quite a bit cleaner looking than Honduras is. Oh, and there roads are normal... not littered with holes that eat tires (see previous post). So, the first few hours of the trip back to Teguc was about what we experienced on the way down to El Salvador. So, we came to expect the same kind of trip into Teguc right? WRONG! It seemed like the instant that we entered Honduras, it all went downhill. Well, I shouldn't say everything did.. we actually had a very nice customs lady when we got to the border. She was very pleasant and cheerful. It was nice to see. Little did we know that she would be the last smiling face that would be on that bus for the remainder of the trip! As night was about to fall upon the sky, the light was engulfed by a storm. So, not only was it dark, but it was also very rainy. About this time, we noticed some... oddities in the way the bus driver chose to take turns... or just even drive in a straight line. We came to the conclusion that either our driver was drunk or had a hot date back in Teguc because he was not braking for anyone or anything. Oh, and I should definitely point out that this bus is a double-decker bus with us sitting on the top level. Ever been on a boat before? You know how it rocks back and forth in the waves? Did you know that buses on land can do that too?! Me neither. But boy was I educated. I can remember one time in particular the man was trying to dodge potholes in the road. Now, in a car, this isn't a bad idea because you have small tires and you could easily bust one hitting these things. But we're in a huge honkin bus and this guy's acting like he's driving a Pinto! And if you haven't thought of it yet, yes, these buses are VERY top heavy! During one of these pansy moves, I seriously thought that the man was going to tip the bus over, no lie. I really thought that we were about to take a trip that we didn't pay for... out the window or a side-ways bus ride. It was seriously so bad that I had a planned out strategy as to what I was going to do in case I felt the bus tip to one side or the other. It was THAT bad. Now, how do most people take turns when driving? You turn with the road, right? WRONG AGAIN! This guy decides that he's not all about that "conventional driving style" and turns the bus sharply left BEFORE we get to the turn, then jerks the wheel right to stay on the road, and then yanks it back to the left again to take the turn. The whole bus noticed that one. In fact, the woman in front of me let out a cry in terror. At this point, Jen and I were WIDE awake and just counting down the kilometers to Teguc. As we passed the turn toward Santa Ana, all I wanted to do was jump off the bus and walk to Casa. And the fun thing about Santa Ana is... fog. So, now we've got darkness, rain, and fog. As I was writing out my eulogy and Jen was talking to Karen telling her that we loved her in case we didn't make it, the driver continued to pass and swerve like the road was his. Finally... FINALLY, we made it back to Teguc. The Lord let us live another day.

You would think after that, Jen wouldn't be so critical of my driving. But, you hydroplane just a little one night on a wet road, and all of a sudden you're the worst driver on earth. I mean, it's not like I have a bad driving record or anything.... uhhhhhh... lately. Sort of. But even so, if you've driven with Jen down here, you know that she has no ground to say that someone else is a bad driver. Let me say really fast that a "certain someone" drive us over the cement median yesterday in town to do a U-turn to get out of traffic. And my parents were worried about us before. haha.

A Variety of Events

2006-06-17T11:11:00.000-04:00

Bedtime Buddies

Alright, so not long after Jen left to go on her "vacation," I was snuggling up to my covers for a good nights rest when it happened.... "Plop!" I don't know if you've experienced something "plopping" right down on your covers next to you, but it's not a good feeling. And I"m not talking about a little "dink" or anything, I'm talking about an all out 2 lbs. object coming down on your bed. Keep in mind I'm halfway asleep, the lights are off, and Mike not too long before had brought in a HUGE spider that was in their kitchen. Therefore, when I felt something weighing down the comforter, I was pretty quick to hop right up out of bed. I'm expecting this massive spider that will freak me out and put me in an institution for the rest of my life, but that's not what I found. When I go back toward the bed, a small frog jumped off of it and into the corner of the room. So, that wasn't so bad. I got it out of my room, and even though it was making its way toward the kitchen, I was ok with that because it was out of my room. :)

But the excitement didn't end there that night, oh no. After I get over the fact that something could apparently fall from heaven onto my bed with me, I fell asleep and all was well... until about 4:30. During one of my many points of waking up in the middle of the night (I'm not a solid sleeper), I turned over and tried to go back to sleep. About the time I was good to go back to sleep, I felt something. At first, I thought it was just like a little breeze or maybe even the hairs on my arm coming back up after being matted down from the previous position. NOPE! I soon realized that there was indeed something crawling up my arm, toward my head mind you. Well, now THAT is something that will also jolt you up. So I shake my arm like it's on fire to get the bug off, look to make sure that it's off of me, and then head to turn on the lights so that I can see what it is that just violated my personal space. And that's where the problem is. I DON'T KNOW! In the few steps that I had taken to turn on the light and come back to the bed, the bug was gone! I looked for it (machete in hand) for a little bit, but to no avail. So, that being the second "friend" I made that night trying to go to sleep, I gave up on that and went to sleep on the couch in Karen and Jen's apartment. Call me a pansy if you wish, but having extra bodies in bed with you twice in one night would make anyway a little iffy about going back to sleeping there.

Container Craziness

Ok, so the container FINALLY got here on Tuesday. I say finally because it was expected to get here over a week before then. There was apparently quite the issue with getting it in and out of Teguc. Something about a paper needing signed and stuff like that. Blah blah blah. So, we finally got to pick it up on Tuesday. Well, by pick it up, I mean that we drove in front of the semi carrying the container. Pretty uneventful trip out to Santa Ana. Slow. So we finally get to Santa Ana where I figure the truck will like park on the main road and we'll use the trucks to get stuff from the truck to Casa. Nope. Karen and the driver go down the dirt road for like 10 minutes while I wait in the van behind the truck making sure no one decides that they would like to see what's inside the truck. Though I'm sure many would have liked to know, no one tried to see. Anyway, Karen and the driver come back up the dirt road and the driver gets in the truck. I didn't know what took them so long, but they were back, so whatever. Then the unexpected happened... HE TURNED THE 18 WHEELER DOWN THE DIRT ROAD! Now, if you've not seen this dirt road before, it's basically about a lane and a half of a normal road, very bumpy, and NOT straight at all. And the whole "not a straight road" thing wouldn't have really been that big of a deal had those houses not been so close to the road. At one point, the trailer potentially hit the corner of the roofs on one of the houses and bent it. But hey... it bent back almost to its normal shape. So the truck gets down to the "intersection" where the even smaller road to Casa turns. Don't worry, he didn't try to take the truck down THAT road. But when I got down there (I was following the truck from behind), I see that there are two flatbed trucks with people in them. Apparently the portion of Mark Connell's group that didn't go to Roatan (and I don't know why you wouldn't) had already built a house that day but were willing to help up unload the container. Nice, aren't they? However, they had already apparently been waiting for about an hour or so by the time we got there. So, we felt bad about that. But the fun part is that we still couldn't open the container yet. "Well that's odd," you might say, and you'd be right. Apparently, there was some number missing on the paperwork that required an inspector to actually be present when we opened the container and watch us unload it. And guess what? He wasn't there. He was supposedly about 15 minutes behind us. However, 30 minutes later, we were starting to wonder if he got lost or something. So, after several calls to Gina Larios, the head container guy, and many attempts to call the inspector directly (this was a long as frustrating process since he didn't answer his phone), everything finally worked out about 20 minutes later and the unloading process began. It was going just fine with all the help and having a team unloading the truck and then another unloading the flatbed trucks into Casa. Then it happened. We really shouldn't have been that surprised I guess. But, what season is it? Yep.. RAIN! So about halfway through unloading, it really starts to come down. Luckily (for the owners of the articles onboard), a lot of the things were wrapped in plastic and weren't ruined. We used wrapped mattresses to cover up the cardboard boxes. So, after the wet, muddy trip in, the stuff was really starting to gather in the playroom and in the eating area. So, then the boys room was filled, and then the hallways. We had to resort to putting a few things in the girls room, where Nicole is sleeping. But, it wasn't much. Needless to say, there was A LOT of stuff on that container, and the sad part is that about 80% or so was Mike and Janet's... who just decided to move back to the States. So, Mike had to come back to sort through EVERYTHING to decide what he wants to ship back to the States and what will just stay here. And this leads me to my next story....

Traffic Terrors

When Mike and Jen came back on Thursday, we had quite the crazy (yet short) story happen. On the way back from Teguc, I was driving oh so safely, but the pickup truck behind me decided that he was too good for that. So, on a blind turn, he decided that he would pass me and the guy in front of me on this turn. Well, these roads aren't always meant to handle a 3-wide traffic pattern, and ESPECIALLY not on turns. So we're all coming around this corner, and what do you know, someone else in the world decided that they wanted to be heading toward Teguc at that particular moment and was coming around the corner toward us. If I were to venture a guess, I'd say that we missed having front row seats to a VERY bad accident by about... ohhhh..... 3 inches, MAYBE. That was by far the closest I have ever seen to an accident yet down here. We couldn't believe that those trucks didn't hit. It was certainly a "hold your breath" kind of thing for a second or two. Then Mike turns and says "you should put that in your blog."

Another REALLY "fun" traffic adventure was not so fun. When we left the Kluge's one night to head back to Santa Ana (while Jen and Mike were gone), we got stopped at a police stop right after we got on the Choluteca road that takes you to Santa Ana. This really isn't THAT big of a deal usually, but tonight, since I was driving, you KNOW that it just had to be an issue. So he comes up to the window and asks for my license and and car registration. That was fine because I can drive on my American license here. But, then he asked about our fire extinguisher. Here, you are required to have one along with safety triangles and flares or something. Anyway, we didn't have one, but I didn't know what he was asking and Karen was playing dumb like she didn't know what he was talking about. However, I didn't know that we were suppose to be playing stupid.... I was just doing it naturally. But, then I just HAD to figure out what he was talking about and say "Oh, the extinguisher!" like an idiot. So then Karen had to say that we didn't have one and that's not good. He then informed us that it's like a 900 lps fine and that he was going to like keep my license until I paid it. Then he told Karen that she needed to get out of the car to sign something. Yeah... that's not a good idea here for a girl to get out of the car with the police... especially at night. So, Karen said "no." Not exactly the best thing to do to say "no" to a police officer, but in this situation, it was definitely better than her getting out of the car. So, after some awkward moments, he just gave me my license back and told me to go. Yeah, I don't know why... but I wasn't about to stick around and ask. I said "thank you" and got right on out of there. So, that was an interesting way to end the night.

Driveway Disasters

Gosh, this blog is getting so long now, I'm thinking about shortening these last few stories. Well, after the flatbed trucks had been in and out of the muddy driveway with all the items from the container, it was pretty darn rutted (if that's a word). Well, those flatbed trucks have that nice thing called 4-wheel drive. Gracie, on the other hand, does not. So, when we were leaving to head to the Kluge's on the fateful night that included the police incident, Gracie got a little hung up in the mud. In fact, she was diggin herself a grave. So after several attempts by Pablo (the night guard) the push the car while I tried to gas it that came out to nothing, he decided to open the back trunk door and stand on the back of the car to give it weight on the rear wheels for traction. And this did help, but it wasn't enough... so I had Nicole get back there too with Pablo. With them jumping on the back of the van like they were on a pogo stick, I rocked that van out of that rut eventually... leaving behind a fishing pond. I also had an issue again the other day, but I eventually got it out without any additional weight on the back. So the moral of this story... Gracie is NOT made for any terrain other than flat pavement.

Hospital Horror

Ok, so in the States it's like this nice thing to take a girl and her baby to the hospital if the baby's sick, right? Well, we thought so too when we took this girl, her baby, two other younger girls, and one 2 year old to Teguc to the hospital. We dropped them off RIGHT in front of the hospital at about noon. Then we went to go do some stuff and then go get Jen and Mike from the airport, assuming that they would just catch the bus back to Santa Ana. Well, at about 9:30 that night, the mother comes to Casa saying that her daughter never came home. And what's more, they were under 21, and in Honduras you have to be 21 before you can do anything without permission... and they didn't have permission to go to the hospital. Yeah, that's not good. So Jen and Karen call Fabiola who has a friend that works at Hospital Escuela (where we took them). She went and looked for them at the hospital and at the Ronald McDonald House next door where a lot of people that go to the hospital stay apparently. But, not only did they not find them, but they found that the baby hadn't even been checked in! They never went in! So, that wasn't a good thing. After quite a long time, Fabiola said that there really wasn't anything left to do that night and we would just have to wait. I don't think that the mom was a big fan of that plan, but there really wasn't anything more anyone could do. But don't fret, Karen got called yesterday (we took them two days ago) and the kids had made it back safe and sound to Santa Ana. But boy, that was a whole lot of drama. Jen said that if that was ever her in that situation, that I would come and look for her instead of just sitting here and being angry. I told her I'd think about it. :)

Kluge Cookies

This is just a nice little story about the best cookies EVER. For anyone who has gone to the Kluge's for some dessert, you know that Melissa knows how to make some GOOOOOOOD desserts. One of these new delicacies was experienced the other night (yeah, the same one with all that other stuff... it was quite the night) were two small chocolate chip cookies with icing in between them. Oh my... now, I'm not really a huge sugar/dessert eater or anything, but these things were awesome. She had some with white icing and some with chocolate icing. Goodness, talk about over-indulging. I potentially had four of them... and a piece of cake.... and just a regular chocolate chip cookie. Too much? haha. But yeah, that was a really fine dessert that I just had to let everyone know about because they were just THAT good.

Why I Love My Mother

2006-06-10T08:06:00.000-04:00

So I don't know why, but when I got into bed last night after a riveting game of Phase 10 (of which I lost miserably), the necessity to write a blog about this just seemed to lay itself on me. Therefore, here it is.

I love my Mom because she has ALWAYS been:

... the healing hand that makes me feel better when I'm sick
... the helping hands that have made me many a meal
... a comforting place to rely on in times of heartache and pain
... the sweet arms to be hugged by when you don't feel like you'd been hugged in years
... the gentle voice that woke me up in the morning as a child
... an example of joy about even the most lowly tasks
... a source of knowledge about women that I still have not yet seemed to grasp a bit of
... a great example of genuine worship to the Lord in all situations
... the comfort to help me sleep no matter how sick or scared I was
... the superb mother figure for more than just her three sons
... an example of humility and kindness to a great many people (now even outside the US)
... honoring and non-judgmental to everyone, even people that I feel might not deserve it
... the tender heart that listens when my heart and soul are heavy
... an obvious child of God that loves Him dearly and follows Him closely
... the constant encouragement to me in whatever I choose to do
... a woman that truly makes a house a home, in which anyone feels welcome
... a kind of moral reminder to keep me focused when I start to stray
... an example of strength and forgiveness during the hardest times
... the loving woman who will stop and pray with anyone who may need it
... the one who taught me how to fold laundry and cook
... the supermom who somehow could make food, take all three of us to different practices, and still have the energy and time to make dinner when Dad got home
... an exceptionally accepting person who never "turns her nose up" to anyone... ANYONE
... a constant reminder to be honoring and respectful to others (I'm a slow learner)
... a faithful source of hope when those she loves are choosing poorly with their lives
... the loving spirit that reaches out to the most troubled person
... a source of Godly wisdom that many respect and inquire of
... the voice that told me Bible stories as I drifted off to sleep
... the on-call nurse when anyone was sick

... the person you should blame for having me ;)

This is just a short part of a long list of things that make my Mom so great. I'm gonna go ahead and say that anyone who reads this knows exactly what I'm talking about on several things I've listed. You can't help but be affected by this woman... I don't think that she'll let you not be. haha. The amazing thing is that even though she is all these things (and more) to me, she is certainly the one that I show the least appreciation to. For all the things that she's done, I feel that I've done a very poor job of showing that I truly love and fully appreciate the many contributions she's made to my life (including me having any life at all). God has blessed me SOOOOOOO very much by allowing me to grow up in the home that I did with the parents that I did. I know so many people who were not blessed as I was, and they let me know how "lucky" I am all the time. I'm sorry that I don't see it as much as others do. Not because I don't believe that it's true, but because I so easily forget.

I don't want this to come off as I'm trying to suck up to my Mom or anything. Because if you know her, you know that I have no need to suck up to her. And that's not because I'm the "favored child" or anything. Lord knows that I have made plenty of mistakes of my own, and some of which I still feel the consequences of today (I would be more than willing to list them here, but 1. Probably too long of a list and 2. I don't think it would be respectful to the other people involved). Even so, the fact remains that there is no need to suck up to either of my parents because they both love me unconditionally. Whether I make tons of horrible decisions or only a few little ones, they will not love me more or less. I think that is one of the best things that I have been taught by them throughout my life; no matter how anyone else chooses to act towards me, it is always my decision to love them regardless. Mom didn't do all those things for me because she felt obligated to. She did (and does) them out of a spirit of love that is unending. If we, as men, are suppose to look for women that are like our mothers, then that would explain why I am so picky. And I guess that's what makes... well... let's just say that there aren't very many women on earth that could fit this mold... so screwing up with someone that could fit it is... pretty major (Yeah, that's about the most indirect way to say that). But I'm not going into that. If you would like to hear about 3,000,000 different stories about why my Mom is so great, you could go down to Belpre church and ask just about anyone, you could go to several churches around the country that she speaks at, you could ask the many OVC women who have had her for class and always tell me that they love her, you could ask the two daughters that my parents "adopted" (but not really since their 25 and 29), you could ask around Charton (where she works), or you could ask many mothers and children in Honduras (if you speak Spanish that is). I guess all this is really just to say that... I love my mommy. :)

It Was A Cold Day In H... onduras

2006-06-08T10:17:00.000-04:00

Doubt my mother appreciated that title, but I thought it was somewhat humorous. Of course, she probably wouldn't appreciate my driving here either... as I don't think the passengers in the van do either. But you win some you lose some, right? Anyway, I got to build my first house yesterday since I got back here. I know, it's about time, huh? So Joe gets around to calling us at about 11 or something when he finally has the team to the work site. Luckily, it was just down the road from us about 5 minutes. But, it was a late start nonetheless. So, as you may know, it's the "rainy season" here right now until about August or so. And this term, rainy season, is no lie. We got to the site and they were finishing up clearing out the remains of the old house which was built completely of old tin. A funny thing that happened, though, was that when we (Karen, Nicole, and I) walked up the small hill to the actual site, we could here the sound of baby chicks. Now, that doesn't sound wierd in and of itself, but the odd thing was that we couldn't see them anywhere. I was looking all around me and then I figured out where they were; inside the woman's shirt that we're building the house for. Needless to say, we got a good laugh out of that. There were two small dogs and some chickens running around the construction site the whole time that made it interesting to build. Basically, they were like moving landmines.

Now, the construction itself was eased a little by the fact that it had been raining a lot over the past several days in a row because the ground was so soft. Therefore, the hardest part, digging out the post holes, wasn't as bad as usual. Granted, there were quite a few rocks... some rather large ones actually... but all in all, the digging was a lot easier than what I'm use to being down here when there is not a drop of moisture in sight. So, about this time, we felt something... can anyone guess what it was? Yep, raindrops. And they kept fallin' on my head. Get it? Ok, bad joke. Anyway, the rain came down, but no floods came up (I'm on a roll). And the rain just kept coming, and then it got harder. Needless to say, everyone, with the exception of one girl who was smart enough to bring a pancho-like thing with her, was totally soaked from head to toe. And this was just at the digging stage. But, since I reminded Karen on numerous occasions that we were giving someone a new home, she stopped complaining eventually. haha... of course I'm kidding. Well, I really did say it (anyone surprised), but it's not like anyone was really complaining about the rain... except one girl who I thought was going to go into hypothermia from how bad she was shaking. But, she made it, so on with the story. Now came the fun part of getting the wood up to the site. It really wasn't that far from the road to the site. I mean, we're talking like 100 feet or something like that. But, what made it exciting was that there was this small incline about halfway that was completely muddy. So, it was entertaining to see everyone trying not to slip and bust themselves while carrying the wood. One unfortunate gentleman lost his footing while carrying a 2x4x10 by himself... ouch. But, I had a new friend, Taylor, that carried wood with me... we decided that it wasn't good enough to limit ourselves to a certain number of siding pieces on our trips. Therefore, we though it would be a good idea to increase our load during our trips. Some might call it showing off... but I think that we were merely lightening the load for others and cutting the overall time for construction. :) We got up to 8 pieces of siding before we ran out. Good times though... I mean, we just almost only killed one person. No big deal. I'm kidding... it wasn't even close... from my angle. haha.

The fun thing that we found, and this is true no matter where you are, was that when you're wet and there's a breeze, you feel about 30 degrees colder. I remedied this by moving around and lifting a lot of wood... as previously stated. This, the coldness, became more and more of a problem as the day went on and the temperature around us went down. We got everything up in the normal fashion... well, there was one Honduran step ladder used which apparently this group had never heard of before. I call it a step ladder when someone light, in this case a girl, gets on a guys (or bufftruck girl's) shoulders to get high enough to nail the upper siding panels on the high side of the house. A full Honduran latter (someone standing on someone else's shoulders) was not necessary here because the guy was tall enough so that the step ladder was sufficient. So anyway, we got all the walls up and got some guys up there to start on the roof. Nothing more terrifying for mothers than to see their sons getting up on a roof and balancing themselves on the siding and the 2x4's I'm sure. But they had an extra good time since it was all wet. But, they were troopers and got the 4x4's, 2x4's, and then the 1x4's on without a problem. Ok, so I might have almost speared one of them with a 1x4 when I was heaving them up there, but I really don't think that it should be held against me. Right? I mean, I didn't jetison him off the roof or anything.

While all that was going on, there was an army or people putting the floor down, and some others finishing up the high pieces of the short wall. I got to help put in (or take out I guess you could say) the window inside the house. I had never done this before as I am always on the roof at this point. It was a lot easier than putting the roof on, that's for sure. And speaking of the roof, the fun part came about the time that the window had been finished being cut out. As I've noted, there was a fair amount of moisture in the air... and the groud... and the wood... and on us. This really wasn't that big of a deal... until the roof guys had to get down. As some of you might know, tin isn't exactly the easiest thing to walk on normally... but this tin was wet. So, just think ice rink. One kid, upon his dismount, broke the end of a 1x4. That wasn't good because it dented the tin and could have allowed water in. After some attempts by Joe to fix it from underneath, we ended up supporting someone while he put a new nail through the top of the board to support it. That worked out well. Kind of felt bad for the last roofer to get off the house, though, because he was on the side of the house with the broken 1x4 and wasn't big on the idea of trying to walk on the slick tin downhill to the other end where we got the 2nd roofer down. But, they had been up on the roof the whole time with the wind and he was shaking like a leaf. So, before he froze to death, we convinced him to come to down to the other end and get down the way the other guy had. He got down just fine and is alive and well. Then, the last boards were cut down and the house was complete.

We all gathered in the home to pray with the woman who we built the house for. This house was for her and 8 other members of her family. So there are now nine people that are going to live in that house. NINE! In a 16x16 house. And these aren't all just small children either. While we prayed with the woman, and had it translated for her, she was crying. She came around and hugged everyone that had helped build with tears in her eyes... so very grateful for this new home. Certainly assures anyone that all their work was for a good reason. And then you realize that this is what they've got. We get to go back to our abode and get in a hot shower and change into any of our big selections of clothes while they move their now wet belongings into their new home. But, they couldn't be more grateful or happy about what they've just received. Love it.

Oh, I would also like to say that I had to name Joe "Bob Villa" since he was all about marking off boards for perfect fits. I guess when you just have to tell people what to do and not do much of the actual work yourself, you have the time for perfect measurements. haha. I'm just kidding, if you know Joe, you know that he's a very hard worker. Just had to share though. Maybe you had to be here to think it was funny... but oh well.

Be sure to pray for Jen as she is "roughing it" back at home in the States. Yeah, I come down and she catches the first plane home. I guess I'll just put the huge spiders that Mike finds in her room while she's gone. :)

Choluteca.. the HOT spot

2006-06-02T09:40:00.000-04:00

So on my first full day here, we all (Jen, Karen, Nicole Tindall, Mike and Janet, and I) all packed into the rented truck (Karen got the "fun" spot straddling the shifter) and headed out on the road. Oh yes, we were in a rented truck because good old "Gracie" decided that she wanted to do more shaking than moving, and so we had to take her to the shop. Anyway, on our little adventure down there, we had the great opportunity to give a few police officers (one with a nice, large shotgun) a lift down the road. I mean, how do you say "no" to those guys, huh? But, it's good to know that if you needed them, they would have to catch a ride to come to your aid. Very comforting. Now, this truck that we're in has something very precious that Gracie doesn't have.... Air Conditioning. Oh yeah, that was NICE to have. :) So, we drove down to Choluteca basically without any problems... other than directional... but nothing major. Then it happened. Jen rolled down her window. Wow. Talk about a 30 degree temperature hike in about 2 seconds. Jen had mentioned that this was suppose to be the hottest place in Honduras, but who knew that it was apparently the hottest place on the planet?! I would compare it to living in a sauna. Because it wasn't just hot... nono. The people there probably don't have to drink water because there is enough in the air to just absorb into their skin. It is THAT humid. Crazy.

So, after the shock of going from 85 degrees in Santa Ana to 135 degrees (ok, maybe not quite) in Choluteca, we headed to the Lazarus Mission's office in town. They have acquired a 700 acre piece of land outside of town that they use in their mission efforts. But, before we headed out there, we looked around their office and warehouse. Jen and Karen were very jealous of this warehouse because it is pretty darn large. Just think small airplane hanger... made of block... with no planes... yeah. It was very impressive. They also had their pharmacy (might as well call it) in that building as well, and they were definitely stocked. So, after that brief tour, we got directions to get out to the property. As a side note, on the trip out to the property, I was right about two things while Jen was totally wrong about them.... no big deal. You would think that she would know better than to challenge me by now. ;) Ok, just had to throw that in there. Anyway, we got out to the property and met Jarrod, the main man at Mission Lazarus. We talked to him for a bit about what was going on out there, what they did, and other things about the structure of their organization. Then, Jarrod was nice enough to take us all out in his big F250 around the property. Now, if you're thinking that this is some nice, flat land... you'd be dead wrong. We were in the mountains. But, this worked out well because it was much cooler up there than down in Choluteca. Anyway, let's just say that the "tour" was more of an offroading adventure. Did you know that trucks can go up a 90 degree hill? Ok, it wasn't THAT steep, but I was very surprised at the steepness of the path (yeah, not even close to a road... and sometimes not really even a path). I would tell you about how nice it all was, but I'll leave that to Jen who also has pictures to go along with the story. But, it was very very nice.

Oh, but there were some humorous parts about the little tour. Karen made up a new car manuver, "tailfishing". Never heard of that one before. Janet said that she saw a Jaguar... which turned out to be a black stump. Apparently when American women come down here, they see large cats wherever they are. The hunt is still on for Jen and Mary Ann's mountain lion. The other humorous moment was Janet's flight. No, not the airplane flight down... though I'm sure it was very interesting since she hates flying at all, and she wasn't notified of the very abrupt landing in Teguc. But I digress. Since the cabs of those F250's aren't really big enough for all the people we had, Jen, Karen, Mike, Janet, and I all were in the truck bed riding around. Now, as I said, this was NOT smooth terrain. The bumps and holes were plentiful. However, on one particular hole, right near the end of the tour, the rear passenger-side tire went into quite the large crevass in the ground. However, with the truck still moving, it popped right back out rather quickly. Because of this, Janet, who was seated at that corner of the truck bed, caught some serious airtime before coming smack down back in the bed. Have you seen the cartoons when a character is very surprised and their eyes pop out of their head? That's about what happened in the back of that truck. I thought that Jen was going to pass out from laughing so hard. Good times, and definitely worth the drive down there. But the fun isn't over...

So now it's time to head back. But first, we gotta eat dinner, right? So we went back into hades, as I'd like to call it, and went to Pizza Hut. I love the person who invented the stuffed-crust pizza. Just had to share. So then we get back into the truck (MUCH smaller than an F250) and get back on the road to Santa Ana. Now, as you may or may not know, the roads here are... well... "rough" to say the least in some areas. Well, at night, these rough spots are a little harder to see until you're right on top of them. This is especially true when you're traveling as fast as we were.... I mean... we were traveling at a very safe and reasonable speed. Ahem. So, we're driving along, listening to some music, when all of a sudden... WHAM! We DRILLED a huge pothole in the road with the front passenger-side wheel. It was very deep and wide... don't start singing the song. So we're still amazed out how huge that pothole was when... WHAM! There was ANOTHER huge pothole that the front DRIVER-SIDE drilled. So now we're a little concerned. Neither tire had blown, but we were pretty sure that we could eaisly lose one. And then we did. The driver-side tire went out. So, after deciphering the the way to lower the spare tire down from under the bed in the back, Mike and I get the spare tire on. Oh yeah, and this is OF COURSE on a turn in the road where people don't exactly take them nice and slow, and we didn't have a flashlight. However, I found that Jen's iPod can really put out some light. So, we got a spare tire on the driver-side... oh, but it had a nice big bulge in it... that's always good. That's what you want to see in a spare tire. So, we had a spare tire with a bulge and a front passenger-side wheel that was bent and could go at any time. What is there to do but drive and pray that God puts his hands over the tires to keep them inflated? So, driving about 40 kph behind a slow truck for a while, and then getting up to a whopping 65 kph when we finally passed him, we FINALLY got back home after about and hour and a half or so... maybe more. But, this would have normally taken about half as long (if not less) if we had had two good tires. But hey, we made it back. So that was Wednesday.... what an exciting day, huh? Oh, and I didn't mention the part where Jen blew past a checkpoint and the policeman (or military guy, I can't tell them apart sometimes) reached for his gun while looking in shock as Jen didn't even tap the brakes. In fairness, it was hard to tell that he wanted us to pull over because it was so dark and he just kinda shined his flashlight at us when we were like 20 feet away and going quite fast.... I mean nice and slow. How can you not love Honduras? haha. Wait for a picture-filled version from Jen.

At Last

2006-05-30T21:20:00.000-04:00

Another good song that I decided to use as a title even though the song itself isn't relevant to my post. Anyway, this is just going to be a very quick one tonight because I am tired and I feel like a big nasty oil ball after traveling all day. You know what I mean? No? Just me, huh? Oh well. I successfully made it to the great land of Honduras right on time and with all my luggage. I was a little nervous because I didn't see anyone when I got off the plane and was collecting my bags. I didn't want to have to walk out carrying these two packer boxes into the entrance that's full of people. Those that have been here know which one I mean. But, thankfully, Jen poked her little head around the corner when I was almost in that room, and everything was good. After that, there were some things to do like take the inspector guy out to lunch (yeah, that was rough going to a nice place to eat) and then some other errands that Jen and Karen needed to run. The first group (since I've arrived) will be here on Friday. So that will begin the summer of fun.... or slave labor (you know how Jen can be... haha). I'll certainly try to keep this as updated as I can throughout my time here. I know many people are just so jealous, so I felt the need to keep up constant reminders to them of why they are jealous. Alright, well, I'll go ahead and end this for the evening. I think that we're about to eat anyway. Now let's pray it stays down. haha. Kidding. Jen and I might be headed over to El Salvador to meet up with my aunt and uncle for a couple days since they'll be in the area... and by "the area," I mean Central America. But, I'll write about all that fun stuff when and if it happens. And, maybe I'll write a deep and meaningful post sometime as well.... but it won't be tonight. ;) Thanks to everyone who prayed and helped make this trip possible. It means a lot to me.

Like Sand Through an Hour-glass

2006-05-23T12:50:00.000-04:00

Yeah, I'm not really sure why I used that as the title of this entry. I guess I just feel like there's a whole lot going on within this last week or so of my time left in the States. This past weekend, my roommate Jared and I drove down and back from good old Searcy, Arkansas for our good friend's wedding. I have to admit, that was a whole lot of driving in that many days. I won't say how long it took us to get there because my mother wouldn't be very happy to hear it. ;) Overall, it was a very good weekend. I got to see some friends that I went to Harding with that I hadn't seen in quite a long time, and we got to make some more hilarious memories together. The wedding itself was a very nice and eloquent outside service with very beautiful landscaping I must say. The part that probably jerked the most tears from the crowd was when the bride's father sang a song to his daughter in the middle of the wedding... precious. Anyway, there's much more to that whole story that I won't go into because that's not what this blog is for. If you don't know what I'm talking about, then don't worry your pretty little head about it. haha. However, there was a bad side about last week in that two of my friends from home lost their grandmother on Friday night, and then also on Friday night, Jeremy's (the groom in the wedding we went to) grandmother had a heart attack and had to go to the hospital. But, it turned out to be a blessing that Jeremy's grandmother had the heart attack in the US (she lives in Canada) because apparently they wouldn't have caught her heart condition up north and she could have very well died. So, you could say that it was just all in all a very highly emotional weekend for several people that I know. On a lighter note, I'm sure that Jared would just love to tell you about the trip home and how I missed a turn and then accidentally put one of the tires in a ditch while trying to turn around. In my defense, I was still a little out of it from waking up, and it was 2 in the morning. It makes me feel better to say that. haha.

So, now I'm in the middle of my last work week here in Columbus, OH. For good? Who knows but God right now? With that comes a lot of desire to just not care about what I do this week there. I mean, I already dislike the job tremendously, but add to it that I know that I'm going to be done with it in 3 more days... well, it's hard to be motivated to say the least. I'm also getting all my stuff straight for leaving a week from today. I've still got to deposit some money (thank God for all the people that helped me get it) and get my finances lined up to be a smooth machine while I'm gone. I also have the major component of the trip, pack, this weekend. And apparently, I'm going to be taking several extra things with me on the way down. haha. Just feels like there's a lot of stuff for me to do before I go. Plus, this weekend, I've got to fit all my time with my family and friends in before I head off. I know what you're asking yourself; "What friends?" Well, don't you worry... there are some people that like me.... or maybe just my amazing cooking ability. haha.

So, with all those fun things going on with me, I feel like I hardly have had time to really focus on my reason for going down to Honduras, and what it is that I'm hoping to accomplish by being there. It's really hard not to get distracted by all the little, technical details and truly focus on the bigger picture. I can't wait to go down to that place and do whatever it is that is needed. Whether it's building houses, playing with kids, building a wall, bagging up food to hand out, staying up late to collect water that is cascading from the ceiling, or maybe fending off mud from overtaking the children's' home. Whatever it is, I cannot wait to be a part of doing it. I can't wait to look into the eyes of those children that oh so many people have fallen in love with, and see the smiles on their faces when they receive something as small as a piece of gum. I can't wait to pray with another family who has been built a new house and can finally sleep on a wooden floor instead of the ground. I can't wait to meet and work with hundreds of people from the US that come down to help this area. I can't wait to see God's hands and feet working to spread the love that Jesus demonstrated. I only hope that I will be able to keep my focus right where it needs to be for the whole time that I'm down there, and not get distracted by anything that may arise. May I always seek the will of God in every situation.

Well On My Way

2006-05-11T13:54:00.000-04:00

No, not the song... though I do enjoy it thoroughly. I'm very happy to say that I'm over half way there on the finances as of yesterday. :) That has basically been the only thing left to worry about in relation to this little excursion of mine, but I am very much certain that God will bring those remaining funds to the surface soon enough. It's crazy that so much of that money has come from people who have no clue who I am. Kristen has really done a great job of helping me out with all the finances, and I'm VERY VERY VERY grateful to her for her time and effort. It almost makes me regret being so hard on her when she was down with our group... but not quite. haha.

I also have been starting to do the oh so fun task of telling everyone that I know up here that I'm going to be leaving at the end of this month. I finally talked to Jared (my roommate) about it last night, and have also told a few other people from work (just not my boss yet) about it as well. Overall, I think that people are/will be ok with it. Jared didn't seem to heartbroken by the fact that I won't be there.... though I think the main reason he'd be sad is because I'm the one who makes dinner. haha. But, I'm finding people to be pretty supportive (and maybe jealous?) of the opportunity that I've decided to take advantage of. I'm anxious to see how Justin (the friend who got me this job, and the possibility to move to the other one) will react to my decision.

As I've been thinking about the reality of me going down to Honduras for those two months, I'm pretty certain that I am in need of some real prayers before I go, and will need then while I'm there. I just want to be sure that my heart is right where it needs to be to embark on something like this. I want to be everything that God wants me to be down there, and to be used in the way which will honor Him most. The problem is that I'm not really certain of what that is. I could just really use some prayers for me to see where God is wanting to use me down there and for me to be TOTALLY willing to be used in whatever way He deems best. I just don't want to waste anything when I go down there... not other people's money that help send me, or other people's time and energy down there. I just want to be what God wants me to be.... and I would sure love to know exactly what that is.

As always, though, keep the ones already living down in that unforgetable country in your continual prayers. Keep praying that those papers get totally completed so that they can start changing some childrens' lives... at their own children's home. Also keep in mind their spirits as they are always away from home and those they love.

Why Not?

2006-05-06T13:34:00.000-04:00

Something that I find very humorous about blogging is that every time I get on here, I intend to only write a few sentences and be done... but it never seems to turn out that way. haha. Anyway, after my "fun" week of stressing and praying, and yes I realize that I should have nothing to stress about if I believe that God will take care of me, I decided that it just makes too much sense for me to go to Honduras. Now, you ask yourself "How on earth does it make too much sense to quit your job, turn down an offer for a new position with sweet possibilities, and go to Honduras for the summer and come back to no job?" Yeah, I read your mind. The fact of the matter is that after many conversations with several people about this, and after many many... many prayers, I believe that I am suppose to go there. It would seem like there is a need for my presence there. Not because of any great task or weight that I could handle, but rather just that God has made me in such a way that my "talents" (if you want to call them that) seem to specifically be needed there. I mean, who else has a voice like this that will scream VBS songs even to people that make it pretty obvious that they aren't in the mood for singing? I'm just kidding, but it does seem, in all seriousness, that God is wanting to use me down there in some way. Even if it's just to help build a wall around Casa and remind Jen and Karen why they love me so much. :)

One of the things that stood out in my mind when I was considering everything was something that my mom said. "Ask yourself this; if I take this job, what feelings/thoughts will I have when I pillow my head at night, and what will be my first thoughts when I waken in the morning...gladness of heart and purpose with life or drudgery and resentment?" When I really do ask myself this question, or the question "Which will I regret more if I don't do?", the answer is just way too easy. I would certainly enjoy the new position compared to the one I'm in now by far. However, some of those same problems that I have with this current position would just be transferred over to the other one. Now, I might like the general nature of the other position more than this one (actually helping people vs. selling them), but that would be the only benefit of changing positions other than the possibility of promotion. And for those of you who know me very well, you know that I honestly don't care if I make $40,000 or $4,000,000 a year... for me, I want to actually be able to enjoy where I work and where I live. Right now, I don't have either (not that I hate living with Jared) and changing positions would only make it a little more tolerable of a time. And is that what I really want; to be able to tolerate my everyday life? That, my friends, comes back as a resounding "NO!"

So then you ask "Well, then what do you think is going to happen when you come back from Honduras and don't have a job?" That's a fair question, and I can't say that I have a for sure answer to that. I do know this though, that I will find a job. It may be temporary for me and not exactly what I want for the long term, but I will get a job... or two if the need be for a time. No, I will NOT go to fast food as I know SOMEONE has to have thought.... though I do make a fast Whopper. haha. I have every confidence that God will have an opportunity somewhere for me when I get back. I just need to be willing to really look for it and take it. I won't bore you with a detailed plan of what I'm going to do for employment upon my return, but just keep in mind that I WILL be doing something.

This hasn't been an easy decision, though, by any stretch of the imagination. And I actually just decided on it not too many hours ago, and haven't even told my parents yet.... or my roommate. Actually, Jared didn't even know that I was considering it at all. In any event, the decision's been made and now the task begins (or continues) to get the amount of money that I need ($3000) to go down there for that time and still pay for everything that I have to up here. I know, I can't believe that I owe that much money either... and that's not even touching my school loans (Yikes!). So I could really use some prayers on behalf of getting those needed funds in... or if someone could just win the lottery, that would be cool too. haha (This is how I hint to people that I made a joke). But I don't want to be a prayer hog, though I certainly believe that God can handle anything that we ask. Prayers also need to be lifted up for those loving souls that are already down in Honduras. It's not easy being alone (compared to us) down there all this time, and they could always use some prayers and words of support from us.

Ah, I feel SO much better now after finally deciding on that. :)

DECISIONS!

2006-05-02T23:24:00.000-04:00

This week has been absolutely ridiculous with decisions, and I'm getting pretty darn stressed out by them. I would like to think that I'm a fairly laid back individual for the most part, and I think that most people who know me would agree with that. However, right now I'm not feeling so much on the laid back side of things. As if the decision on what to do and where to go this summer hasn't been a hard enough one, I got a nice bonus wrench thrown in today when I was presented with the high probability that I could have a new position at the company that I currently work for. Could this have come at a worse time? Like the decision to drop everything and go out of the country wasn't hard enough... now I'm presented with this option to get out of the position that I don't like and get into one that I'm good at and qualified for (starting a fitness center our company built). And not only that, but this position has a lot of potential for growth within the company. So now I"m at a point of deciding between going to Honduras and coming back and having to find work, or me staying here and going into that new position. Oh, and I forgot to mention that this position would need to be filled about the end of the month... when I had planned on flying out to go to Honduras.

So needless to say, I've got a lot on my mind now. Half of my mind is pulling me to the place where I feel I can be of most service, and the other half is pulling me toward a more secure and gratifying position to work in. So is this new position God opening a door of opportunity, or is it Satan throwing a distraction on the side of the road? Or is it neither? God is big enough to have set me up with something when I got back from Honduras, but is this Him setting something up for me now so that I have the ability to go down to Honduras later? This is one of those "bang your head on your desk" kind of times in life.

I think that I'm just mostly concerned with making the wrong choice. I know that God can turn either choice that I make to something great. However, I'd still very much welcome a massive, HUGE and very distictive sign pointing me in the right direction. If you've got the sign, please let me know... even if it's a small one.

What To Do, What To do?

2006-04-30T14:57:00.000-04:00

Well, since it's been a few days, and I have the time, I guess I'll write a little something on here...

It's been quite the week for me I must say. No, not at work (obviously) since I honestly don't do a darn thing all day there. The majority of my week has been spent trying to decide whether or not I want to pursue a possible opportunity to serve. Now, if it were something around where I'm living now, then the decision would be easy. What made my week so difficult was that the possible opportunity is to head back down to Honduras for the summer. Which, on the surface, is quite the easy decision for anyone who has gone down there. It's basically a no brainer. What made the decision process so tough was that going back down is a pretty darn illogical move. Since I would have to quit my job (not too hard to do since I don't do anything), move my things somewhere while I'm gone, and then come back to the US with no job to go to, it doesn't really make a whole lot of sense to do. And I certainly heard that opinion from more than a couple people. The thing, however, is that this would seem to be (or possibly be) something that I'm needed, and called, to do. The summer is the absolute busiest time of the year in Honduras for mission work. And with Tim and Gena being gone, a lot of the burden has fallen on good old Joe to handle a lot of the logistics and supplying. This is not an easy task. Do I think that I can even it up like Tim never left? HECK NO! But, I can certainly help to ease the strain put on Joe. Also, who else would seranade Jen and Karen in the wee hours of the night; annoying them beyond belief? Isn't that right there enough reason to go? haha.

There are several reasons why I shouldn't go down there. Why, you've probably thought of a couple of your own while reading this. And it's not that these reasons don't have merit, because they certainly do. I just choose to believe that my God has the ability to make it all work out, and I firmly believe that He will not let me fall because I choose to do His service. I've got all my nice little ducks lined up mostly. The only thing I'm really waiting on is all my finances to be set up. Now, I've been told that I've basically got nothing to worry about, and that's honestly good enough for me. However, I think that my parents would kill me if I quit my job without having the funds in my account. I don't know... something about being responsible or whatever. haha. That's a joke. But I have faith that God will provide the way if He truly wants me to get down there. And time will show that to others. As for me, I feel like I should start packing pretty soon. ;)

Yes, It's Really Happening

2006-04-26T14:51:00.000-04:00

No, you're not imagining anything. I really do have this blog now, but let me start out by saying that I created this entire blog simply because I felt left out that some people had hyperlinks when they posted comments on other people's blog and I didn't. Haha. In any event, I'm not much of a writer (though I certainly have the time) at all. So I don't expect too many posts from me on here... unless I get A) Very inspired, or B) Very bored. lol. I think you should be able to see which it is when you read it.

I guess that I should probably go ahead and explain the title of my blog a little bit, huh? Basically, I'm on a mission much like many people I'm sure. Have you ever felt like you're suppose to be doing something at this very time in your life other than what you are doing... but at the same time having no clue what is it? Feeling like your all dressed up for a party with no directions on where to go? Well, that would basically encompass how I have felt for quite a while now. I would compare it to a sprinter on the blocks right before the starting shot is fired. He's ready to run, and hard; as fast as he can. But the problem here is that there doesn't seem to be a lane. He can't see where he needs to run once the gun goes off.... and what's more, he has no clue when the gun will go off. So he sits on his blocks waiting... and waiting... and waiting. After a while, he'll relax more and more; just getting use to being on the blocks since it seems like the opportunity to run will never come. Every once in a while, he'll remember that there's a race about to begin and he'll get poised in readiness for the shot, but then the possibility fades and once again, he starts to slouch. It feels like you've prepared yourself for so long to be of service, but just can't seem to find where you're intended to serve. You pray for big neon signs to show you the way, and hope that one will finally turn on and light up the whole sky. Now I'm not exactly what you would call a "risk taker" by any stretch of the imagination (though I have been known to do something stupid every once in a while). So sometimes I wonder maybe after being on the blocks so long and having the security of not having to commit to anything whole-heartedly, I am too afraid to really put myself out there. Perhaps I am freezing up when the gun is fired instead of bursting ahead at full speed. I guess time will show.